Overcoming Anxiety in Tough Conversations


December 2, 2022

by Cora Hageman

As a manager, I've found that one of the most intimidating and anxiety-provoking situations is having to have a tough conversation with my superiors. Even if it's good news, I can't help but feel nervous and worried that I'll say the wrong thing or come across as incompetent. And when it's a more difficult conversation, those nerves can be heightened even more.

However, I've learned that it's important to approach these conversations with confidence and grace, even if it's hard to feel that way on the inside. Here are some steps that I take to prepare myself for tough conversations with my superiors:

1. Take a 60-second mindful breathing break

  • This helps me to calm my nerves and refocus my thoughts

  • It's a quick and easy way to reset and find some inner peace before the conversation

2. Write down key points and questions

  • I find it helpful to have a clear outline of what I want to say and any questions I have

  • This helps me to stay on track and make sure I don't forget anything important

3. Practice with a friend or colleague

  • It can be helpful to run through the conversation with someone else before having it with your superior

  • This can give you a chance to practice your delivery and get feedback from someone you trust

4. Remember that it's okay to be nervous

  • It's normal to feel anxious in these situations, and it's important to give yourself grace and recognize that it's okay to feel that way

  • Remind yourself that you are capable and competent, and that you have the right to express your concerns and ideas


I know I'm not alone in struggling with anxiety in tough conversations, especially with superiors. It can be intimidating to go against authority or to speak up with ideas or concerns. If you're reading this and feeling the same way, I want to invite you to join in the conversation and share your own experiences. How do you prepare for difficult conversations? What helps you to feel more confident and comfortable speaking up?

It's important to remember that we're all in this together, and that it's okay to admit our insecurities and vulnerabilities. By opening up and sharing our experiences, we can create a supportive and understanding community for managers who are navigating the challenges of tough conversations.